I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
