There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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