My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
