And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
