awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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