So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
A+ Viking dick
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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