And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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