and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you win again, gameday.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
