Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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