I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
