No awkward lesbian experiences without me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
