i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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