Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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