Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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