therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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