Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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