I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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