Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
