A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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