I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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