I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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