bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
