how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
