There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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