Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
