Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize