His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
