Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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