I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
