you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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