Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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