I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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