Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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