I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.