hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel