I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Randomize