I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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