whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
