dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
