Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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