my sisters under your porch take her home
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
