Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
