you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize