Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
