I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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