They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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