You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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