Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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