I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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