He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
