I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
