are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
