UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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