what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
