ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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