Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
