I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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