Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
