Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
