Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize