are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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